Monday, July 25, 2011

joke/quote #8

 It's Monday morning and I'm guessing most of you have already started your work week and planning the next outing. Allow me to lighten your morning with another installment of humor.
 Three-fourths of the Earth's surface is water, and one-fourth is land.  It is quite clear that the good Lord intended us to spend triple the amount of time fishing as taking care of the lawn.       ~Chuck Clark

Boy Goes to Church Instead of Fishing
One recent Sunday, a young boy arrived to his Sunday school class late. His teacher knew that the boy was usually very prompt and asked him if anything was wrong.
The boy replied no, that he was going to go fishing, but that his dad told him that he needed to go to church instead. The teacher was very impressed and asked the boy if his father had explained to him why it was more important to go to church rather than to go fishing.
To which the boy replied, "Yes, ma'am, he did. My dad said that he didn't have enough bait for both of us.
The gods do not deduct from man's allotted span the hours spent in fishing. 
   ~Babylonian Proverb

Promises to Wife
Four married guys go fishing. After an hour, the following conversation took place. First guy: " You have no idea what I had to do to be able to come out fishing this weekend. I had to promise my wife that I will paint every room in the house next weekend." Second guy: " that's nothing, I had to promise my wife that I will build her a new deck for the pool." Third guy: " Man, you both have it easy! I had to promise my wife that I will remodel the kitchen for her." They continue to fish when they realized that the fourth guy has not said a word. So they asked him. You haven't said anything about what you had to do to be able to come fishing this weekend. " What's the deal?" Fourth guy: " I just set my alarm for 5:30 am. When it went off, I shut off my alarm, gave the wife a nudge and said, " Fishing or Sex" and she said, " Wear a Sweater."

Even if you've been fishing for three hours and haven't gotten anything except poison ivy and sunburn, you're still better off than the worm. 
   ~Author Unknown

A Fishermans Philosophy
A sure way to get a bite on a slow day is:
Talk about changing spots
Prepare another rod while one is out
Lay your rod down unsecured
Go for a sandwich
Start to pull the boat anchor
Use the worst fly you own
Crack open your first beer
Crack open your last beer
Take notice of the chick on a passing boat, bank or beach
Watch others fishing
Start reeling in your lines at going home time
Give your fishing rod to a female companion or child to hold
When your landing net is out of reach
When you have cast your line over an obstruction
When you line has drifted into impossible weeds
When you turn to look at the sunrise or sunset
Decide that you need to take a leak


  1. All good stuff.
    The verse about fishing and grass cutting.... words to live by

  2. hahaha i thought they were all great John, But i am with Brk Trt, LMAO at that,

  3. Those were some great jokes. I can't stop smiling. I am with the rest. I go with the rainy season stats. Where the water level is high and it makes up about 4/5 of the earth :) More time on the water and less on the mower. Tight Lines.