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I think it's time for me to get out, because at the moment I'm only thinking about fishing 21 hours a day, and they're the waking moments. And even when I close my eyes I'm thinking about it.
If fishing is a religion, fly fishing is high church.
If people concentrated on the really important things in life, there'd be a shortage of fishing poles.
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True Fishing Terms
Catch and Release - A conservation motion that happens most often right before the local Fish and Game officer pulls over a boat that has caught over it's limit.
Hook - (1) A curved piece of metal used to catch fish. (2) A clever advertisement to entice a fisherman to spend his live savings on a new rod and reel. (3) The punch administered by said fisherman's wife after he spends their life savings (see also, Right Hook, Left Hook).
Line - Something you give your coworkers when they ask on Monday how your fishing went the past weekend.
Lure - An object that is semi-enticing to fish, but will drive an angler into such a frenzy that he will charge his credit card to the limit before exiting the tackle shop.
Reel - A weighted object that causes a rod to sink quickly when dropped overboard.
Rod - An attractively painted length of fiberglass that keeps an angler from ever getting too close to a fish.
School - A grouping in which fish are taught to avoid your $29.99 lures and hold out for spam instead.
Tackle - What your last catch did to you as you reeled him in, but just before he wrestled free and jumped back overboard.
Tackle Box - A box shaped alarmingly like your comprehensive first aid kit. Only a tackle box contains many sharp objects, so that when you reach in the wrong box blindly to get a Band Aid, you soon find that you need more than one.
Test - (1) The amount of strength a fishing line affords an angler when fighting fish in a specific weight range. (2) A measure of your creativity in blaming that darn line for once again losing the fish.
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So...enough of the plagerism, here are a couple phony magazine covers I photoshopped a few years ago.
That's about all for now, I'm going to bed. If the weather changes drastically I just might be able to get out. If you like the humor, leave a message, or better yet... leave a joke!
I must be honest, I don't get ice fishing. But with the long winter I've had in England, I think I would try almosy anything right now?
ReplyDeleteLove the blog lay out by the way!
Hahaha God work John,I liked the Jokes but best of all i liked your photoshopping work,
ReplyDeleteExcelent,
,,,Paddy,,,