Friday, March 11, 2011

Joke/Quote of The Week #3

 It's Friday afternoon once again and the candle's two ends are about to meet in the middle so I'll have to be brief. The only thing to report in this small corner of the fishing world is that it's been raining out for three days straight, the ice on the lakes is covered with 8' of water and all the rivers are blown out. With that in mind I think now is the time for another installment of some fishing humor and then it's bedtime for bonzo.
I think it's time for me to get out, because at the moment I'm only thinking about fishing 21 hours a day, and they're the waking moments. And even when I close my eyes I'm thinking about it.

If fishing is a religion, fly fishing is high church.

If people concentrated on the really important things in life, there'd be a shortage of fishing poles.
True Fishing Terms

Catch and Release - A conservation motion that happens most often right before the local Fish and Game officer pulls over a boat that has caught over it's limit.

Hook - (1) A curved piece of metal used to catch fish. (2) A clever advertisement to entice a fisherman to spend his live savings on a new rod and reel. (3) The punch administered by said fisherman's wife after he spends their life savings (see also, Right Hook, Left Hook).
Line - Something you give your coworkers when they ask on Monday how your fishing went the past weekend.
Lure - An object that is semi-enticing to fish, but will drive an angler into such a frenzy that he will charge his credit card to the limit before exiting the tackle shop.
Reel - A weighted object that causes a rod to sink quickly when dropped overboard.
Rod - An attractively painted length of fiberglass that keeps an angler from ever getting too close to a fish.
School - A grouping in which fish are taught to avoid your $29.99 lures and hold out for spam instead.
Tackle - What your last catch did to you as you reeled him in, but just before he wrestled free and jumped back overboard.
Tackle Box - A box shaped alarmingly like your comprehensive first aid kit. Only a tackle box contains many sharp objects, so that when you reach in the wrong box blindly to get a Band Aid, you soon find that you need more than one.
Test - (1) The amount of strength a fishing line affords an angler when fighting fish in a specific weight range. (2) A measure of your creativity in blaming that darn line for once again losing the fish.
 So...enough of the plagerism, here are a couple phony magazine covers I photoshopped a few years ago.

 That's about all for now, I'm going to bed. If the weather changes drastically I just might be able to get out. If you like the humor, leave a message, or better yet... leave a joke!


  1. I must be honest, I don't get ice fishing. But with the long winter I've had in England, I think I would try almosy anything right now?

    Love the blog lay out by the way!

  2. Hahaha God work John,I liked the Jokes but best of all i liked your photoshopping work,